I was born in 1725 and I died 1807. The only godly
influence in my life, as far back as I can remember, was my mother, whom I had
for only seven years. When she left my life through death, I was virtually an
orphan.
My father remarried, sent me to a strict military school,
where the severity of discipline almost broke my back. I couldn't stand it any
longer and I left in rebellion at the age of ten. One year later, deciding that
I would never enter formal education again, I became a seaman's apprentice,
hoping, somehow, to step into my father's trade and learn at least the ability
to skillfully navigate a ship.
And, I determined that I would sin to my fill without
restraint, now that the righteous lamp of my life had gone out. I did that all
my days in the military service and I further rebelled.
My spirit would not break and I became more and more a
rebel. Because of a number of things that I disagreed with in the military, I
finally deserted, only to be captured like a common criminal and beaten
publicly several times. After enduring the punishment, I, again, fled.
I entertained thoughts of suicide on my way to Africa. I
decided on Africa because it would be the place where I could get farthest from
anyone who knew me. And, again, I made a pact with the devil to live for him.
Somehow, through a process of events, I got in touch with
a Portuguese slave trader and I lived in his home. His wife, who was brimming
with hostility, took a lot out on me. She beat me and I ate like a dog on the
floor of the house. If I refused to do that, she would whip me with a lash.
I fled, penniless, owning only the clothes on my back, to
the shoreline of Africa where I built a fire, hoping to attract a ship that was
passing by. The skipper thought that I had gold, slaves or ivory to sell and
was surprised that I was a skilled navigator. And, it was there that I
virtually lived for a long period of time.
I went through all sorts of narrow escapes, with death
only a hair's breadth away, on a number of occasions. One time, I opened some
crates of rum and got everybody on the crew drunk. The skipper, incensed with
my actions, beat me and threw me down below. I lived on stale bread and sour
vegetables for an almost unendurable amount of time. He brought me above to
beat me again and I fell overboard. Because I couldn't swim, he harpooned me to
get me back on the ship. And I lived with the scar in my side, from a wound big
enough for me to put my fist into, until the day of my death. On board, I was
inflamed with fever and enraged with the humiliation.
A storm broke out and I wound up, again, in the hold of
the ship, down among the pumps. To keep the ship afloat, I worked as a servant
of the slaves. There, bruised and confused, bleeding and diseased, I was the
epitome of the degenerate man. I remembered the words of my mother.
I cried out to God, the only way I knew, calling upon His
grace and His mercy to deliver me, and upon His Son to save me. The only
glimmer of light I could find was in a crack in the floor above me. I looked up
to it and screamed for help.
God heard me.
Thirty-one years passed. I married a childhood
sweetheart. I entered the ministry. In every place that I served, rooms had to
be added to the building to handle the crowds that came to hear the Gospel that
was presented and the story of God's grace in my life.
The tombstone above my head reads, "Born 1725, died
1807. A clerk, once an infidel and libertine, a servant of slaves in Africa,
was by the rich mercy of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, preserved,
restored, pardoned and appointed to preach the faith he once long labored to
destroy."
I decided before my death to put my life's story in
verse. And that verse has become a hymn.
My name? John Newton.
The hymn? Amazing Grace.
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