THE MISCHIEVOUS BROTHERS

Source: mcnphotography.com

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.

The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, but he asked to see them individually. So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.

The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Do you know where God is, son?" The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.

So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?!" Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God?!" The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.

When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?" The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in big trouble this time, dude. God is missing, and they think we did it!”

NOAH IN THE 21ST CENTURY

And we thought we had problems!  If Noah had lived in the United States in the last ten years, the story may have gone something like this:

Photo: toonpool.com

And the Lord spoke to Noah and said, "In one year, I am going to make it rain and cover the whole earth with water until all flesh is destroyed.  But I want you to save the righteous people and two of every kind of living thing on earth.  Therefore, I am commanding you to build an Ark."  In fear and trembling, Noah took the plans and agreed to build the ark.  "Remember," said the Lord, "you must complete the Ark and bring everything aboard in one year."

Exactly one year later, fierce storm clouds covered the earth and all the seas of the earth went into a tumult.  The Lord saw that Noah was sitting in his front yard weeping.  "Noah!" He shouted.  "Where is the Ark?"  "Lord, please forgive me," cried Noah.  "I did my best, but there were big problems."

"First, I had to get a permit for construction, and your plans did not meet the building codes.  I had to hire an engineering firm and redraw the plans.  Then I got into a fight with OSHA over whether or not the Ark needed a sprinkler system and approved floatation devices.  Then, my neighbor objected, claiming I was violating zoning ordinances by building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning commission."

"Then, I had problems getting enough wood for the Ark because there was a ban on cutting trees to protect the Spotted Owl.  I finally convinced the U.S. Forest Service that I really needed the wood to save the owls.  However, the Fish and Wildlife Service won't let me take the 2 owls.  The carpenters formed a union and went on strike.  I had to negotiate a settlement with the National Labor Relations Board before anyone would pick up a saw or hammer.  Now, I have 16 carpenters on the Ark, but still no owls."

"When I started rounding up the other animals, an animal rights group sued me.  They objected to me taking only two of each kind aboard.  This suit is pending.  Meanwhile, the EPA notified me that I could not complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood.  They didn't take very kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of the Creator of the Universe.  Then, the Army Corps of Engineers demanded a map of the proposed flood plain.  I sent them a globe."

"Right now, I am trying to resolve a complaint filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission that I am practicing discrimination by not taking atheists aboard.  The IRS has seized my assets, claiming that I'm building the Ark in preparation to flee the country to avoid paying taxes.  I just got a notice from the state that I owe them some kind of user tax and failed to register the Ark as a 'recreational water craft.'  And finally, the ACLU got the courts to issue an injunction against further construction of the Ark, saying that since God is flooding the earth, it's a religious event and therefore  unconstitutional.  I really don't think I can finish the Ark for another five or six years."

Noah waited.

The sky began to clear, the sun began to shine, and the seas began to calm.  A rainbow arched across the sky.  Noah looked up hopefully, "You mean you're not going to destroy the earth, Lord?"

"No," He said sadly.  "I don't have to. The government already has."